Bonus Video: In-Car Night Racing From Thunderhill!

There are times in life when you break out in a cold sweat due to pure, uninhibited terror. Like when you find out you knocked up some cougar you had a one-night stand with 15 years ago. Or when you rack up $5,000 in credit card advances and lose it all in one night at a Vegas craps table during SEMA. Or when you're about to get your face ripped off by a Siberian tiger at the San Francisco Zoo. I'm happy to say none of those apply to me.

No, friends, my idea of terror is racing into a pitch black darkness in a shitty old car with virtually no lights whatsoever. You might encounter a crushed Datsun B210 resting unnauturally on its passenger door, just off the racing line. Yes, that's scary.

We thought we were so clever: Yeah, just put those dinky foglights in, those will pass tech. They're "lights", right? Right?

We never thought we'd need them to actually, you know, see.

So there we were at the 24 Hours of LeMons in the balmy 34 degree foggy darkness. I had planned my exit strategy well in advance. I drove the first stint of the race (during the day) specficially so I wouldn't be the jerkoff running off the road in the middle of the night. Darkness came, so I sent out driver #2. 5 minutes later, he's back in the pits. "What's the problem?!" The answer: "This is a fucking joke! I'm not driving this piece of shit! You can't see a god-damned thing!".

OK then, time for driver #3. Five minutes later, same scenario. So there we are. Four drivers, car still running, nobody willing to risk life and limb for a sackful of nickels. Which, honestly, we had no chance in hell of winning, having been classed as "NPF" - that's "No Prayer of Finishing". A fine designation, indeed.

Of course, as Bob Lutz once said, "Common sense, in fact, is not very common at all". True? You be the judge.

P.S: Video is from the 2nd place finishing "Latch Key Kids" Dodge Neon. Watch for the Gold Leaf Isuzu from 3:15-5:00!