Bonus Video: In-Car Night Racing From Thunderhill!

There are times in life when you break out in a cold sweat due to pure, uninhibited terror. Like when you find out you knocked up some cougar you had a one-night stand with 15 years ago. Or when you rack up $5,000 in credit card advances and lose it all in one night at a Vegas craps table during SEMA. Or when you're about to get your face ripped off by a Siberian tiger at the San Francisco Zoo. I'm happy to say none of those apply to me.

No, friends, my idea of terror is racing into a pitch black darkness in a shitty old car with virtually no lights whatsoever. You might encounter a crushed Datsun B210 resting unnauturally on its passenger door, just off the racing line. Yes, that's scary.

We thought we were so clever: Yeah, just put those dinky foglights in, those will pass tech. They're "lights", right? Right?

We never thought we'd need them to actually, you know, see.

So there we were at the 24 Hours of LeMons in the balmy 34 degree foggy darkness. I had planned my exit strategy well in advance. I drove the first stint of the race (during the day) specficially so I wouldn't be the jerkoff running off the road in the middle of the night. Darkness came, so I sent out driver #2. 5 minutes later, he's back in the pits. "What's the problem?!" The answer: "This is a fucking joke! I'm not driving this piece of shit! You can't see a god-damned thing!".

OK then, time for driver #3. Five minutes later, same scenario. So there we are. Four drivers, car still running, nobody willing to risk life and limb for a sackful of nickels. Which, honestly, we had no chance in hell of winning, having been classed as "NPF" - that's "No Prayer of Finishing". A fine designation, indeed.

Of course, as Bob Lutz once said, "Common sense, in fact, is not very common at all". True? You be the judge.

P.S: Video is from the 2nd place finishing "Latch Key Kids" Dodge Neon. Watch for the Gold Leaf Isuzu from 3:15-5:00!

LeMons Disaster Forces Isuzu Out Of U.S. Market

You asked for chapter 2, and boy, have we delivered.

We haven't posted anything about the December 24 Hours of LeMons at Thunderhill, because, frankly, we failed miserably. The Jalopnik guys cheered for us, and even chronicled our exploits here, but alas, they were the only ones. Nobody else seemed to care much (though everyone liked our tow vehicle!).

After 11 hours of racing, at least three in terrifying pitch darkness, the old I-Mark's right front hub suffered a catastrophic failure while young Howard Swig was at the wheel. Howard had pulled into the pits complaining of a "horrific noise" emanating from the right front corner. Ever the optimist, and as the team captain, I told him to go back out there and drive the damn car: "What's the worst that can happen? The wheel isn't gonna fall off!"

It did.

The fallout from our miserable 43rd place finish has been more than we ever could have imagined. Our misguided efforts with the Gold Leaf Team Lotus I-Mark have made for some uncomfortable silences in the break room at Isuzu HQ. Due to our pathetic failure, Isuzu has announced that they are pulling out of the U.S market completely. They will continue, apparently, to provide parts and service, but if getting a new set of front brake pads for an '89 I-Mark RS is any indication, that infrastructure is, well, non-existent. If you have any Isuzu product, I suggest you unload it immediately to the first dumbshit who offers cash. That said, anyone want a LeMons-prepared I-Mark twincam in Gold Leaf livery? We'll even put the wheel back on for you!

Farewell, Isuzu. I'll remember you as fondly as I remember my $200 Renault LeCar. And that's a compliment.

Jalopnik 24 Hours of LeMons Thunderhill Full Gallery

Japan's "Lucky 13"

Our friends over at Winding Road always have something interesting to report, and this month they've turned their attentions east to the Land of the Rising Sun.

In their January 2008 edition, Chris Paukert chooses Japan's 13 "Most Beautiful Designs". What cars made the cut? Read the magazine here.